I was listening to the wind just now, some crazy Wizard of Oz houseblowing wind, I thought. Then I thought about how gay I happen to be because Wizard of Oz was my comparison of choice. The clouds seemed to agree with me though, which got me to thinking that I've really lost my mind because clouds are talking to me. Or at the very least clouds are agreeing with my gay movie references.

See, this is why I don't post much.

It's a sad statement about my workaholicism that when I do have a few days off I go into a catatonic stupor trying to figure out what I'll eat for lunch. Hell, no one is bringing it to me. Independent thought? What's that? Shee-it. Look at how little I post on this thing. I need an intervention. A sexy intervention. With sandwiches.

As many of you know, I read LJ a great deal but rarely post. I love having LJ to keep me abreast of everyone's lives but not being able to post from work combined with just about always being at work does not make for very exciting reading on all of your ends. Sorry about that.
So last night, in exchange for services both lewd and in some parts of the world illegal, I finally got Eric to watch The Royal Tenenbaums. He's incapable of admitting it but I could tell he enjoyed it because he actually stopped plotting world domination for a little while and even went so far as to drink a beer.
Eric's really not a big one for watching television or movies. He's more into operas. Or flogging. If possible I think he'd most of all like to watch an opera about flogging.
Then we moved on to fumblyawkward philosophical things and my head almost exploded. (We both avoided talking about our own relationships with our blood relatives the way a movie like Royal Tenenbaums might encourage normal people to do, whomever normal people are.)
I hit on the revelation that I like meaningful conversations almost more than I like fucking.
When did that start?
Eric tells me I'll know middle age is happening when I like the meaningful conversations more.
By that logic Eric is actually about 17 years old.
By the way, this is a post where I'm not talking about my wife. It's cool. We're poly. Don't panic. :)

I spent all day yesterday cleaning Wizo's new place, and boy, was that motherfucker filthy. Either the previous owners never cleaned or they were encased in amber because it took all day just to do the kitchen.

Eric did amazing things with his magic eraser.

I wish it were as dirty as it sounds.

I loved this movie.
I feel like such a fag.

1) Choose 10 movies which are central to your personal paradigm.

1. The right stuff.

2. The fugitive.

3. The muppet movie.

4. Airplane.

5. Copland.

6. Evil Dead I & II.

7. The shootist.

8. I married a witch.

9. MASH.

10. Bladerunner.

Paulette L. Berry and Matthew J. Burrese are no longer in custody.
Gnomes, birdbaths, birdhouses, reindeer and wooden bears are no longer safe!!!!!
In March, someone heisted a 50-pound gnome from the yard of a Tuckerton, N.J., couple and left a ransom note in their mailbox.
"If you ever want to see your gnome again," the thieves wrote, "leave three Snickers bars, two Yoo-Hoos and one Coke and the newest Playboy edition in the baseball dugout (at) 3 p.m. Sunday. Don't try anything tricky or else you'll never see your gnome again. The Gnome Bandits."
In July 2003, a group calling themselves the Gnome Liberation Organization swiped the ornaments all over the Roseburg, Ore., area and left a note on one victim's porch claiming responsibility, according to The Associated Press.
"We have received intelligence of an enslaved gnome at your place of residence," the note read. "It is now in a better place."
Police later found four stolen gnomes in an alley near an elementary school.
Gnomes protect the treasures buried deep within the Earth but who protects the gnomes? No lawn gnome is safe! Is this justice?

I think it's getting to the point
where I can be myself again
I think it's getting to the point
where we have almost made amends
I think it's the getting to the point
that is the hardest part

and if you call, I will answer
and if you fall, I'll pick you up
and if you court this disaster
I'll point you home

You think I only think about you
when we're both in the same room
You think I'm only here to witness
the remains of love exhumed
You think we're here to play
a game of who loves more than whom

and if you call, I will answer
and if you fall, I'll pick you up
and if you court this disaster
I'll point you home

You think it's only fair to do what's
best for you and you alone
You think it's only fair to do the same to me when you're not home
I think it's time to make this something that is
more than only fair

so if you call, I will answer
and if you fall, I'll pick you up
and if you court this disaster
I'll point you home

But I'm warning you, don't ever do
those crazy, messed-up things that you do
If you ever do,
I promise you I'll be the first to crucify you
Now it's time to prove that you've come back
here to rebuild

Did you hear about the two antennas that got married? The wedding was lousy, but the reception was great.

Eric and I went to a "gut" ceremony at a Korean temple. This was really interesting and I’m glad he talked me into it.
According to Eric, these rituals originated from Siberia and were later influenced by local Buddhism after making the migration to Korea through trade routes. Korean shamanism apparently developed very differently from region to region but all the basics are in place, at least from what we saw. The shaman is the medium for the spirit of the dead or gods to speak to the living through ritual actions. (This was a safe journey ritual we attended. I like something I can apply to my own life. If I’m going to go all-heathen let it at least be applicable.)
Eric’s seriously looking to pursue this line of study and even wants to go to Korea next summer. He wants me to come along but I’m mighty tired of airplanes these days. :o)

Homeland Security is endangering the lives of federal air marshals by making them conspicuous to terrorists. It's the suits guys. The suits and the ties and the dress shoes and the haircuts. You can't pull that off on a flight to Spring Break.
You know it's bad when folks are coming up to these undercover agents on a plane and thanking them. It makes the whole thing kind of silly don't you think?
Turns out the airlines themselves were demanding the agents wear "Proper attire."
Proper for what? A funeral?


  
   
   

You are Gabriel Van Helsing!


You are a lone force of good against evil. Charged
with tracking and destroying evil in all of its
fabled varieties, you are brave and know how to
use your weapons. You travel to distant lands
and vanquish foes to protect mankind, but the
secrets of your past haunt you. Terribly
handsome also fits the bill.



.


Which Van Helsing Character Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

-Abortion?: I’m against it. Yelling at me won’t help, I’m used to that. I am however, content to be against it in the privacy of my own home and am not willing to go so far as to outlaw it all together. I am also unwilling to murder anyone over this issue. Blowing up abortion clinics and the like is an insane and immoral act. Jesus does not hand out lollipops to the perpetrators of such acts.
-Death Penalty?: Let them rot in solitary.
-Prostitution?: Love it! I mean, legalize it. Yes.
-Alcohol?: Love it.
-Marijuana?: Legal.
-Other drugs?: Legal.
-Gay marriage?: Legal.
-Illegal immigrants?: The law is a snipe hunt. Scrap the current jumble and use some common sense in the re-write.
-Smoking?: I don’t have strong feelings on the act itself though I do detest the bullshit.
-Cloning?: Clone my wife twice and let my triplet fantasies run free!
-Racism?: Stupid stupid stupid.
-Premarital sex?: OK for all except my daughters.
-Religion?: God is good. God is great. People suck.
-The war in Iraq?: Against it.
-Bush?: Despicable.
-Downloading music?: Nope.
-The legal drinking age?: Right now! Everybody!
-Porn?: No minors.
-Suicide?: Some people just can’t find any peace. Pray for them.

David Wenham plays Audrey the (female) frustrated playwright in the beginning of Moulin Rouge. That’s the same fellow who plays Faramir in LOTR. Looks like we have more in common than I thought. ;)

Barry White is Love

Went out to the Island to deal with a family matter. At least it was a beautiful night for it. We even caught the downpour. I just wish it wasn’t so cold in this part of the country.
Playing drunken poker with sort of in laws is a real treat. I’m glad we went even if Eric was there and the entire experience was as strange as I could possibly have imagined. All I have by way of obligatory family is my brother and when I watch some of my loved ones deal with their parents I almost feel glad about that hole in my own life. Almost.
I didn’t do so well at the cards. Like I told them, hungry hungry hippo is really my game. I’d kick some butt in hungry hungry hippo.
Maybe next time. ;)

What was Bob the Builder called after he retired?
Bob.

R. Boles was an amazing man. Every day, he would climb a palm tree and fly it to work. Word got to the military about the abilities of this man. They brought him to the base to see if the rumors were true and if his abilities might be used. The man was worried because he could see no palm trees. But nobody would listen. They told him, "Trees is trees, right?"

Anyway, they brought him to the general, who wanted him to demonstrate what he could do. He said, "But sir, this is an elm tree."

But the general snarled back, "Trees is trees, right? Now get in that tree, and fly."

The man climbed the tree and tried to fly it. He tried and tried again, but the tree wooden even budge. The general got impatient. "What's the matter, son? Can't you fly trees?"

"Sir, that's what I've been trying to tell everyone. I'm a palm pilot!"

What did the atlantic say to the pacific?
Nothing. It just waved.

The bartender says; "Why the long face?" LOL. I love this.

I Am A: Chaotic Good Elf Ranger Bard


Alignment:
Chaotic Good characters are independent types with a strong belief in the value of goodness. They have little use for governments and other forces of order, and will generally do their own things, without heed to such groups.


Race:
Elves are the eldest of all races, although they are generally a bit smaller than humans. They are generally well-cultured, artistic, easy-going, and because of their long lives, unconcerned with day-to-day activities that other races frequently concern themselves with. Elves are, effectively, immortal, although they can be killed. After a thousand years or so, they simply pass on to the next plane of existance.


Primary Class:
Rangers are the defenders of nature and the elements. They are in tune with the Earth, and work to keep it safe and healthy.


Secondary Class:
Bards are the entertainers. They sing, dance, and play instruments to make other people happy, and, frequently, make money. They also tend to dabble in magic a bit.


Deity:
Solonor Thelandria is the Chaotic Good elven god of archery and the hunt. He is also known as the Keen Eye, the Great Archer, and the Forest Hunter. His followers respect nature, and only hunt when needed, but are quick to defend the forest from intruders. Their favorite weapon is the bow, and they tend to be extremely talented with it. Solonor Thelandria's symbol is an arrow with green fletchings.


Find out What D&D Character Are You?, courtesy ofNeppyMan (e-mail)